those were the best days of my life

my house is so cute.
i have the room i have always wanted.
im so excited for the awards show.
i love zach conrad. he is playing blink 182 on the guitar next to me.
last night ro matt kyle and i had a singalong to motorcycle drive by, phantom planet, oasis, and other 90s favorites.
tomorrow is kyles birthday.
i have tickets to the braves game and i just want to sell them, its too hot outside.

today i saw the balls and butt of an 84 year old man.

the most intense episode of oc thus far.

ro is back!

summer friends.

life will be complete next weekend when kyle matt ro and i are sitting on the beach in florida singing this together.


Summer time and the wind is blowing outside
In lower chelsea and I don’t know
What I’m doing in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
And I’m sleeping on the couch
When I came to visit you
That’s when I knew I could never
Have you
I knew that before you did
Still I’m the one who’s stupid
And there’s this burning
Like there’s always been
I never been so alone
And I’ve never bee n so alive
Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes
And you don’t mind, you smile
And say the world doesn’t fit with you
I don’t believe you, you’re so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt , you’re guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
And there’s things I’d like to do
That you don’t believe in
I would like to build something
But you never see it happen
And there’s this burning
Like there’s always been
I’ve ne ver been so alone
And i’ve, I’ve never been so alive
And there’s this burning
There is this burning
Where’s the soul I want to know
New york city is evil
The surface is everything but I could never do that
Someone would see through that
And this is our last time
We’ll be friends again
I’ll get over you, you’ll wonder who I am
And there’s this burning
Just like there’s always been
I’ve never been so alone alone
And i’ve, and I’ve never been so alive
So alive
I go home to the coast
It starts to rain I paddle out on the water
Alone
Taste the salt and taste the pain
I’m not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this rolling wave
Darkly coming to take me
Home
And I’ve never been so alone
And I’ve never been so alive

this is for tadd and alex because i cannot post pictures on comments.


this is tadd at christmas. if any of you have been to their house at christmas, you will know that they love decoration. tadd made everyone wear a christmas hat when they walked in the door.


this is just regular old alex and tadd


this is when my dad got alex and i a hotel room for fear of alexs life being in danger. tadd came over to check the place out. we jumped accross the beds and took pictures.

i wish i had a parashoot cause im falling bad for you.





i wish someone would say this to me.

so i just got home from work with zach brown. some dude was at the bar and he bought me dinner and a martini and two shots. awesome. that must have been like sixty dollars? or more.

since im not dating, i have made a decision. zach and i are going to tag team at bars. he will act like either my gay friend or my friend looking for a girl. some guy should pay for me but only if he will pay for zach too. good idea right.

one down, the rest to go.


oh ps. he was thirty six. and a total tool.

two weeks ago the boys hosted a dinner party for the girls. only christy and i were able to come, so we were treated very well.
dinner was made. we danced. here is the proof.

i love conan

kickball was wierd tonight. there were a lot of people that i didnt know and had not seen in a long time. and lots of people i didnt expect to be there.

i keep getting in this daze. i dont even know if i am going to write in here anymore. i always assumed no one read it except christy and leigh. i guess maybe i am wrong. either way. i am not into internet drama. so im just blocking it out of my life. i want to speak of positive things, but its so hard to make myself do that. i want to surround myself with only positive things. i realize that i have picked the most wonderful people to be friends with. and to live with. matt is such an uplifting person. i really enjoy his company and his kind thoughtful words. its nice to have someone around all the time that i can always talk to. silly things and important things. really i have so many wonderful friends. so this goes out to you kyle, zach, zach, neal, mike, scott, pat, christy, ro, and all of the other people i see all the time. i spoke with my therapist today and it was so nice to have to explain who everyone is, and how many different people are always around. when asked to describe a regular day for me, i finally realized how much my life really has changed. i feel very fulfilled. i hate that i let little things get me down. i have come so far to let little things affect me.

matts room is painted. mine next. move in 11 days. i cant wait!
this is going to be the best house of my life.

foolish people everywhere.

fuck. im sad.

i hate the internet so much.





i miss leigh.


i also miss contentment and happiness.

i hate having these relapses of being sad.
it doesnt help that i seek information out.

is it me, or are people everywhere just taking what they can get. having something for the sake of having it.

we just got back from ellijay and i really love my mom. we went tubing and i saw a huge spider. patrick and scott also saw a rope snake.



the invitations are done. many long hours were spent making them but i am proud of the outcome.

i hate the word wifey. does anyone else. its fucking stupid. i always hate it when people say that.

ro is out of town and i miss her.
i miss all of the girl time at 198 but its just too hot for me to be there.
i dont want friendships to slip away from me. i still care about everyone the same.

i am so excited to move. its up in the air as to who our fourth roommate is going to be, but it will all fall into place in the next two weeks. matt and i are painting tomorrow.

i dont know if spencer reads this, he probably doesnt, but why the fuck can i not go a day without thinking about him. he seems to always have to have a girl. it makes me feel like i was just filler. everything we had just slipped his mind. he has dated so many people since me, i cant believe it. i feel like he has changed a lot, or maybe it is me that has. i just get sad thinking about him with other people. doing the same things. saying the same things. new inside jokes. away messages to girls. and one i thought he didnt like. oh well. one of these days i will find someone who will make me happy. someone who will want to be with me. someone who wont leave me when times get tough. someone i can depend on but still be independent.

fin.

kyle and josh are singing weezer to the guitar right now.
ro and i want to leave.
we are waiting for matt to get off work and hang out with us.
zach c just kissed me on the lips again.
i live at the lofts.
i cant wait to move.
my hair stinks and is very dirty.
i started a list of everyones favorite desserts.
i have a lot of work on these invitations that have to go in the mail on monday.
its nicks birthday. and sarah norwoods too.
my moms birthday is on monday and i am going to elijay.

lets go to tj! what happens in mexico [cabo] stays in mexico [cabo].

yesterday i remembered when we were happy.





i got two new jobs.
vickerys on crescent ave as a hostess with zach brown.
radial cafe in candler park as a server.

ro pat matt and i are all watching season one of the oc together.

im moving soon. matt bought paint for his room.

i have to make all of my sisters wedding invitations this week.

ani alex and weezer this weekend. friday is anna birthday and also sarahs! and saturday is nicks.

california here we come.

mike matt and kyle tonight were the cutest boys ever. christy and i showed up at seven thirty dressed to our best, and the door was opened, bags were taken, purses hung up. frank sinatra was playing. stars hanging from the ceiling. couches moved. kyle was wearing a tux. everyone else in nice dress clothing. candles. table set with tablecloth and plates. wine, sparkling grape juice, and kyles famous sweet tea. our chairs were pulled out for us. we had chicken pasta and alfredo sauce. bread. and cupcakes. we took pictures, danced, and were treated like real ladies. boys take note. when you have a girlfriend, you should do this. i have never had a boyfriend do something so sweet. i guess you dont even need to have boyfriends to have nice things like this happen.

mafia is going on and everyone is screaming. i am too tired to be a successful liar.

still no air or hot water. im staying here for a while.

everyone is really screaming. and now fake crying.

pat came home tonight. matt and i picked him up and had wonderful conversations. i am so excited to have him as my roommate. he is so wonderful and interesting. i cant wait for our house to come together.

on a side note, i am so sick of petty annoyances.

i watched half of the season of oc today.

thanks mom!

the air condition has been broken since the flood on wednesday night. its so hot. to counteract it though, we have no hot water.

sand dunes last night for the adventurous people. sitting on the wall for the nonadventurous [matt, neal, and i].

i met katy! it was so fun. we took polaroid pictures.



i got the rudest email from the girl that took my room at ford factory.

you didn't pay half the rent. when i first moved here i was told you were paying the month of may and when you didn't i had to come up with the rent in like 3 days. that is very short notice so of course the rent was late. all you paid was the late fee and that is very fair. it is fucked up that you left jenn saying you were moving out of state and you still live in atlanta. it is also fucked up that when i moved in the electricity got cut off because it hadn't been paid in months. i already had to pay 200 dollars to get it back on and i have only lived here two months. you are crazy if you think i should have to pay you back. i'm sure it is your parents who pay for everything anyway. now please leave me alone.

whatever.

also, i finally got a response to something which really makes me feel better, even though it is such a small thing. its funny how when you completely lose something so important, the smallest things will make such a difference.

im halfway through the oc and i love it.

last night i took briana and christy out to einsteins and we dined on martinis. artichoke dip. fancy sanwiches. and a fudge fusion reactor. which is some kind of chemistry experiment that turned into a smoking dessert.

weezer cover band tonight. dan from ikea is in the band as well as his friend whose canopy we shared. i kind of want to go. i also want to see the pictures from the extreme night on wheels.

my mom gave me money to help pay the bills. she closed on the house yesterday and the rhodes house is officially not ours anymore.

she also paid for two tickets to sigur ros on september 6 for pat and i. symphony section, row b, seats 12 and 13.

posturization.

patrick matt hau and i are moving in the most incredible house.




look at my bathroom!


this is an extra room connected to pats room upstairs


dining room


stairs from the back den that has a wet bar.


the house is being worked on for the next three weeks. new roof. new porch. repainted. new tiling in bathroom. new fixtures. it has four bedrooms plus the extra room. two dens. cool stairs. front porch. back deck. parking. dining room. cute kitchen. wet bar. firplaces everywhere. four or five i think. twelve foot ceilings. i love it! come visit us in east atlanta.

fourth of july was trashy. we had hotdogs and baked beans. listened to metallica and jon bon jovi. drank out of coozies and wore short shorts.

here is me with my favorites.


scott and i raided the thrift store.


i made dylan wear this but he said it smelled like a dog.


awkward.


watching fireworks.

and still i wait

everyone is sad.
tonight the girls are going to have a hangout. it might be the first time we have all been together, planned. and alone.
we are going to battle sadness.
im going house hunting again today. little five points then midtown. patrick and i have decided to stay on the west side of atlanta. no grant part, east atlanta, cabbagetown, boulevard etc.

i really love bling now even though he barks a lot. ro asked me tonight why he always follows me around everywhere. because he loves me!

i slept through a brunch date this morning and i am so disappointed. i woke up at three.

im so excited about my interview on tuesday. i have to wash my hair on monday so that it will look good on tuesday.

i wrote a letter last night. erased the whole thing. started over. and saved it on my desktop. i hope i never send it.

this fucking thrush is killing me.

rabbits can't cut they own hair...that's CRAZY!!

today ro kyle and i sat in at starbucks in the new target and drank strawberry and strawberry/banana yogurt smoothies. everyone is sad and i want everyone to be happy. everyone is breaking up.

we all went to octane to see jessica play. r land has patrick's and i's favorite print. its called loss cat


ro says im rude because i say 'are you kidding me?'. christy is non talkative this week. kyles foot is asleep. matt doesnt inhale his cigarettes. patrick does the best impressions. zach conrad called me and he is going to be home on the 14th. zach brown ate turkey pita for dinner. josh nelson made everyone watch r kellys new videos.

i have an interview at bella azul on tuesday. www.bellaazul.com
im so excited. its a high end fashion boutique and if i got the job i would be so happy. i have to go do my research so i know what i am talking about.

this is the tent for broken hearts. come in.