swc

last night the past four months just came rushing before my eyes. a reminder of so many sad nights. so many days sitting on the floor in the bathroom. hurtful text messages. being blocked. and feeling betrayed.
did i actually do anything to feel this way. did i in some way harm this person or hurt their feelings. im not sure i did anything. except maybe love too much. cry too much. care too much. and what i got in return were things like, i never said i would get back together with you. please just leave me alone. youre being crazy.
last night i was reminded of it all. how can i still miss this person. even after everything still want to be with them. still love them. still think that they are so beautiful.
i guess time will have to heal this, because its all ive got.
i dont want to have to feel that uncomfortable sad again any time soon.
there was only a hi exchanged, but i guess thats better than being ignored, or vice versa. i wonder what he thinks. how he feels. does he ever miss me. was he sad to see me. does he still think i am beautiful. does he love me.
im sure the answer to those questions are no. i remember a response i got a few months ago, and i think it went a something like this. 'you know how i FELT about you'. like i guess its past tense. apparently you can forget about almost a year of your life in a matter of weeks.
fucking boyfriends. i need to stay away for a while.