for the time being. im happy.

back from an arduous morning at the doctors office. im listening to the decemberists, the tain. full from checkers french fries, distracting my eyes from an opened bag of ogre-sized m&ms.

ive decided on chocolate brown and china blue for my bedroom.
some color will make me feel more at home i hope.

ive decided that unhappiness is inevitable, but on a lighter note, so is happiness.

independence is not for me, but for others, a survival skill. sometimes independence is neccesary in order to proctect ones self. if going to europe is what you want to do, then why not.
dont let someone else hold you back.

i hope when that time comes, a once in a lifetime chance comes my way, i wont be distracted by the other.


widow: o the wind is blowing, it hurts your skin
as you climb up hillside, forest and fen.

your arms full of lullabies, orchids and wine
your memories wrapped within paper and twine.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

when the dawn commes to greet you, you'll rise with clothes on
and advance with the others, singing old songs
of cattle and maidens and withered old queens.
let the music carry you on.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

woman: darling dear what have you done?
your clothes are town, your make-up runs.

daughter: i ran through brambles, blooming thistle
i washed my face in the river when you whistled me on.

woman: darling dear, what have you done?
your hands and face are smeared with blood.

daughter: the chaplain came and called me out
to beat and to butcher his mother's sow

woman: but darling dear, they found him dead
this morning on the riverbed.

but hush now darling, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and -by.
hush now baby, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and-by.


ive decided that i need to be a better friend. to the ones i have. i get so wrapped up in my everyday life, i forget about the things that matter most. my best friend[s].