last night.

i bought new jeans! finally. and new green heels.

im so sorry. ive been talking to my mom about what to do. i cannot separate our feelings. to me they are all one. im selfish and rude. i care so much. why doesnt it show.
i wish i could open my mouth and say all the things i want to say. instead it builds up and i panic. backed in a corner until i can finally escape. out the door. off the phone. out of the room.
slammed doors. thrown keys. turned off phones.
im sorry.
i love you.