and igby goes down.

i had no idea how good coca cola could be.

summary

florida is fun.
this family is great.
i just love them all.
spencer got new glasses.
we bought the seinfeld dvds.
his mom gave me a microwave.
tomorrow we are going flying with don.
patrick is in las vegas and he got to see o.
i love pumpkin pie now.
when we come back, no dairy for spencer and i.
im fat.

quit acting like this.

i was re-reading a book i bought a few years back and i noticed a few sections i outlined.
its strange.
i wonder what exactly grabbed my attention. if i were to read it now, for the first time, would i notice these particular passages again?

----------------------------------------------------

and i look up at the window and think
i no longer know where you are,
and i walk on and wonder where
the living goes
when it stops.

----------------------------------------------------

and the once beautiful
wives
stood in their bathrooms
combing their hair,
applying makeup,
trying to put thier world back
together again.
trying to forget that
awful sadness that
gripped them,
wondering what they would
fix for
breakfast.

----------------------------------------------------

most of the boys
cheered
and the little girls
sat very straight and
still,
looking so pretty and
clean and
alert,
their hair beautiful,
in a sunshine that
the world might
never see
again.

----------------------------------------------------

all from charles bukowski. from run with the hunted, a collection of his poetry, novels, and short stories.

im going to start re-reading nine stories by jd salinger tonight.

----------------------------------------------------

hopefully this week i will find out if i got the job with benefit makeup .

Link


ipod socks! six different colors.

sabrina.

ive decided to change my major.
its true i havent even started the first one yet. but i got the course description and it is not what i want to do.
so im changing it to textiles. there are lots of interesting classes and i already have one textile credit!
i also get to take some printmaking courses as well.
all my credits transferred and i am a sophomore!
ive been playing eight off far too much.
i finished truth or dare.
i wish i was a psychic!
i forgot to mention that a woman in the accounting department went crazy and did all this weird stuff at the office. she got terminated and is now in the mental hospital.

i cant stop listening to truth or dare!

40.62 hours in transfer credits!

im getting all of my things ready for school.
i need to go see dr. gadladge because my nose is still not better. i figure he can sign my immunizations form saying that it would be harmful to my body since i have a terrible immune system.

im so proactive when it comes to things i have to do. i love order.

bridget jones' diary the second one is the worst movie ever. i admit i kind of liked the first one, in that 'im sad so ill watch a romantic girl movie' kind of way. but this one was so over the top and ridiculous i couldnt even believe it. she was in a prison in thailand at one point teaching all the girls how to dance and sing to 'like a virgin'.

nicole and i snuck in tiramisu from california pizza kitchen and ate it in our seats.

i bought christy some cappuccino and a tootsie roll for her drawing sustanance.

home to more six feet under!

nate is going to have a baby. and brenda is such a cheating little bitch. i hate her!

for you.

i love you spencer caratti. and being without you is the worst thing i could ever do.

i love you even when you drink

and smoke
.

i love you when you decide you would rather play

or

or watch

while eating a bag of
.

i even love you when you
.

and even though i am not your best friend

you still love me too.

nashvilllllle.

stop at cracker barrell. everyone stares at us and the waitress hates us. left her a good tip just to prove her wrong.
bought a book on cd called truth or dare. it was so terrible we couldnt stop listening to it, rebekah bought a gummy lizard.

then we got to our hotel, econo lodge.



went to the hard rock in downtown nashville. everyone before and after us sat down. we waited fourty five minutes until the whole lobby cleared out and we still hadnt sat down to ask the hostess.
went to bed early and got up this morning to go to the music row wax museum.
the place was very creepy, although the wax people looked really shitty. the pictures really make them look more real than they did in person.


way down yonder at the hoochie coochie.


she looks so shitty. i love her.


looks terrible.


rebekah loves conway twitty.


oh patsy!











and im home.

confession.

rebekah and i are off to nashville.
is sad how one day and night away will make me miss spencer so much.
it will be bonding time for rebekah and i. we are going to cracker barrell to get a book on cd. awesome.
pat got a new car. 1973 mercedes. its real cute.
now i have a car to drive.
savannah soon?
im addicted to six feet under right now.
and last night spencer and i laid in bed and watched band of brothers together. it was so comfortable. im so comfortable. and in love.

i really cannot believe myself for doing this.

last movie you saw:
theatre: the motorcycle diaries
rental: [already seen]the shining. [new] the battle of algiers. not sure if this is accurate information. might need to ask spencer.

last CD you bought:
[last cd i stole from spencer]rodie thomas - when we were small

last time you passed out:
when i was little patrick and i were playing a game where one person was the bad guy and the other got tied up. pat was the bad guy and too small to tie me up so i was tying myself up. i was using my teeth to pull on the rope. my front tooth fell out [only to fall in a gravel driveway, never to be found]. i went inside, saw all the blood, and fainted only to knock my other front tooth out. [yes, i was that girl with no front teeth].

last book you read:
[currently reading]
naked. house of leaves. the plague. [all very slowly].

last time you thought you were going to die:
this one time with jeff we were downtown having a high speed car chase with a rude black man in a blazer. i just covered my eyes and screamed.

last magazines you subscribed to:
w. vogue. vanity fair. rolling stone[i know].

last time you were nervous:
all the time. maybe anxious is the word.

last video game you played:
fuck that.

last time you signed an autograph:
no one wants that shit from me.

last foreign country you visited:
the bahamas?

last song you listened to:
afk - pinback

last time you had a confrontation with the cops:
in savannah. during the g8 conference. two scuba cops came out of the bushes. i have pictures of their boots to prove it.

last fight you got in:
spencer. probably about something stupid like halo. or me being a bitch. either one.

last time you were inspired:
going into youngblood. spencer and i decided to start a clothing line called william margaret. were cute.

last article of clothing you bought:
new jeans! and some green heels.

last time you felt stupid:
when i couldnt remember who the vice president of the united states was.

last time you apologized:
wow. im bad at that.

last time you rode in an ambulance:
when i was little and dove headfirst into a pile of wood.

last time you got ripped off:
when i was promised a job with real work. instead i do these things and i am an eight off champion.

last time you were injured:
all the time. ever heard of tinea versicolor. okay injured, when i was little i was playing baseball in the parking lot, and this boy panos ran in front of my to catch the ball and he knocked me onto the concrete and i fractured my wrist.

last skate video you watched:
spencers. stephen watches them all the time.

last time you took prescription drugs:
well today i took lexapro, ortho tri cyclen, this new drug i forgot what it is called, and i am dropping off another one today for my tinea versicolor thing.

last meal you ate:
chick.fil.a with pat.

last trick you learned:
oh thats dirty!

last time you failed:
ive been out of school too long. i withdraw before i fail.

last good tip someone gave you:
being alone is okay.

last time you vomited:
when i went to st augustine with spencer and i threw up in publix. aww sweetie is all his mom kept saying to me.

last time you went to church:
four years?

last time you felt proud:
not talking to a certain someone for over three months makes me quite proud.

last time you ran over something with a car:
when i was in highschool i hit a kid in the parking lot.

georgia state.

accepted!

i just assumed

skipping work.
taco bell and six feet under.
doctors at 2:30.

christy tonight!

"mark your calendars" -mfk

i almost forgot!

november 23

someone in my building didnt password protect their network!

so im sitting in my bed, alone. kind of bored. i cant sleep so naturally i decide to play eight off. when i decide to check if i have access to a network by any chance. and alas! i do. some idiot didnt put a password on it. ive got my bet on the marilyn manson guy.

dinner tonight at eats. seriously made me sick. all i wanted to do was sleep. luckily there was nothing better to do, so thats what i did.

now im home with quite possibly the cutest, most annoying roommate ever. you guessed it, its holden, the kitten from hell. i feel bad because i keep hitting him. he is popping his head above my computer every few seconds just to receive a mean look and a loud snap of my fingers.

plans for the rest of the week! tomorrow sleepover with christy chaffin. hopefully jessica on friday? never can count on that girl. i need something to do while the halo party is going on. then saturday rebekah white and i are off to nashville for the weekend. dont try and contact us, we will be touring gaylord opryland hotel and wishing we were cowgirls.

i love the women at my work. we have long drawn out conversations about what kinds of bottled water we like best, shoes that hurt our feet, cheating coworkers, teenage children, ex wives, annoying employees, and how we need to lose weight; all while we are playing bespelled or other msn free internet games. [jeopardy was my favorite until i played it so much i was coming up with duplicate subjects, thus always winning with very high scores.]

fish are fed. alarm is set. door is locked. medicine is swollowed. plans for tomorrow are made. i think now i can go to bed and be happy. [or at least try to be].
ill pretend that zoe [who now has one pupil intact, while the other one is hanging by a string] is that certain someone obsessed with a new video game.
pretend that i was more entertaining than a man dressed in metal with a gun.
pretend that i was as good as dave.
pretend that one day this game will get old. and that i will grow up a little and realize i am jealous of an xbox game.

instead ill just sit here, sad, every so often having my fingers attacked by a little orange paw, while i listen to sigur ros and drift off to sleep.

for the time being. im happy.

back from an arduous morning at the doctors office. im listening to the decemberists, the tain. full from checkers french fries, distracting my eyes from an opened bag of ogre-sized m&ms.

ive decided on chocolate brown and china blue for my bedroom.
some color will make me feel more at home i hope.

ive decided that unhappiness is inevitable, but on a lighter note, so is happiness.

independence is not for me, but for others, a survival skill. sometimes independence is neccesary in order to proctect ones self. if going to europe is what you want to do, then why not.
dont let someone else hold you back.

i hope when that time comes, a once in a lifetime chance comes my way, i wont be distracted by the other.


widow: o the wind is blowing, it hurts your skin
as you climb up hillside, forest and fen.

your arms full of lullabies, orchids and wine
your memories wrapped within paper and twine.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

when the dawn commes to greet you, you'll rise with clothes on
and advance with the others, singing old songs
of cattle and maidens and withered old queens.
let the music carry you on.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

woman: darling dear what have you done?
your clothes are town, your make-up runs.

daughter: i ran through brambles, blooming thistle
i washed my face in the river when you whistled me on.

woman: darling dear, what have you done?
your hands and face are smeared with blood.

daughter: the chaplain came and called me out
to beat and to butcher his mother's sow

woman: but darling dear, they found him dead
this morning on the riverbed.

but hush now darling, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and -by.
hush now baby, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and-by.


ive decided that i need to be a better friend. to the ones i have. i get so wrapped up in my everyday life, i forget about the things that matter most. my best friend[s].

goodbye to youuuuuuu.

i seriously love leguna beach.

halo is out. spencer and dave have been playing all night.

the man at kroger said i was a little baby and i didnt look 21.

rude lj posts

fuck you. seriously. youre an asshole.

im picking paint colors for my room. brown and blue. im going to get a comforter later to match. and paint my [jenns] bed some other color.

spencer and dave are getting halo 2 tonight. i am trying to find someone fun to spend the night with or vice versa.

anyone want to buy my brothers car.

2000 vw jetta. blue. 68500 miles. manual transmission. $8000.

please!

i really wish i could be in savannah right now. i want to see leigh and hopkins and tessa. i want to beat some people up. i want to laugh and bake and take pictures with my best friend. i cant stand the crying and hurt feelings. i want to be there now.

i love you leigh chaffin poindexter.

three imaginary boys

i took pictures of rebekahs tattoos for her to put on a cure site.



patrick got a tattoo on his foot yesterday.

Im trying to sell my car, soon ill post pictures for anyone who wants to buy it!
2000 jetta. its nice!

last night.

i bought new jeans! finally. and new green heels.

im so sorry. ive been talking to my mom about what to do. i cannot separate our feelings. to me they are all one. im selfish and rude. i care so much. why doesnt it show.
i wish i could open my mouth and say all the things i want to say. instead it builds up and i panic. backed in a corner until i can finally escape. out the door. off the phone. out of the room.
slammed doors. thrown keys. turned off phones.
im sorry.
i love you.

if i see pictures of them down here, im going to kill you!

rebekah and i went to interpol last night at edwards upstairs. it was ten dollars and you got the shittiest cd to go along with it. it played on repeat while waiting for them to play. only so many times you can hear incubus sing message in a bottle. losts of stupid people. one guy won a 99x shirt and then proceeded to pretend like he worked there. he took a girl backstage and acted very superior. said guy also said to rebekah, 'oh sweet, let me check out your ink'.
there seems to be a strong resemblance between carlos of interpol and crispin glover of willard.


finally stirred my coffee this morning.

its a sad say

better luck next time big guy.


we watched the election process on tv all last night, only to wake up and find that bush is pretty much declared the winner.

i finally realized this morning that when you get your coffee from dunkin donuts, you need to stir it still. too late i think.

interpol tonight with rebekah. hopefully.

i washed my hair and its all poofy.

im bored at work. i decided to make a blog. spencer will be disappointed in me for doing thing, since i suppose it is just like a livejournal. but i dont really plan on telling too many people about it. and i dont have a friends page. i just never can make myself write in my real journal. and since i sit in front of the computer all day, i might as well do this.

i brought my computer to work the past two days and it makes work so much better. my computer is faster and i can listen to music. do my work on one computer, surf the internet on the other.

although probably no one will look at this, i am posting pictures because i want to. i went and looked through all of my old pictures and here are some of my favorites from the past months.